Skip to main content

Girl's Talk

 

my brilliant friend

    Last night I had a sleepover at my female friend's studio and I felt so excited as a child looking forward to school outings. If I tried to recall my sleepover experience with my girl friends, there are always long and deep conversations in the darkness before we feel too tired to stay up late anymore. 

    I enjoy these girl's talk moments a lot as you two could build a genuine and deep connection overnight.  I had that with my best friend in Berkeley and after that night she would head to Los Angeles to travel and go back to China. At that time, I didn't know that we would keep in contact when the exchange semester was over. But luckily, we are still best friends now and I keep sharing my dating experience and relationships, my happiness and sorrow with her. I also had a sleepover with one of my friends in high school. We were not close at that time but at that time our dormmates were all back home and we didn't want to sleep alone. We were sleeping in the bunk bed and she slept in the upper bed. I was talking to her in the darkness without seeing her face but looking at the bed frame. We talked a lot about life and we both felt close to each other afterwards. Even though we may not talk to each other for more than one year, she always has a place in my heart as we shared our vulnerabilities with each other before. 

    I guess it is one of the few advantages of being a girl as you could easily show your venerable self to other girls and build a deep connection based on emotional conversations. For boys, it is difficult for them to cry in front of others and maybe they would only show their vulnerability to their romantic partners. (For me, crying is not something that I could control. I could cry in the most embarrassing setting such as a KFC. It is like rain for me, I have to accept the truth that it could come of a sudden.)    

    What's more, society accepts more affectionate behaviors between girls instead of boys. A close male friendship can be judged as a gay couple while girls are free to hug and hold hands with each other on the street without being judged as lesbians. I recently watched a movie called close and it explores the closeness between teenage boys and how tragedy happens when they try to fit into the mode of how society thinks male friends should behave. 

labeling a relationship can have disastrous consequences

    Therefore, I secretly like to see guys crying in front of me and interpret it as a sign of trust. Let's stop toxic masculinity by encouraging guys to show affection to their best male friends and cry in front of you and them lol! I always tell my female friends when I have a feeling for someone and I cherish their comments. They trust my descriptions (interpretation) of the person I fall in love with and feel happy for me. The sharing moments of telling my dating stories are so much fun that sometimes I like to go through our messages over and over again. 

    There is a saying I could not remember clearly. It goes that friendship among boys is built in shared hobbies and group activities while friendship among girls is built in shared emotions and secrets. For me, I would like both to happen in any of my close relationships: me with my parents, me with my boyfriend, and with my best friends. I try my best to tell my true feelings and spend quality time taking adventures and journeys with them. Anyway, we want someone to be there for you means to have laughter and tears together right? 

    Come here, and I will give you a (virtual) hug!

Labels:
Location: Heverlee, 3001 Leuven, 比利时

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Being a foreigner in Italy

      I just finished my trip in Italy and I like it so much that I can't tolerate hearing Dutch again during the boarding process for my return trip.       The good thing about being a foreigner in Italy is that actually I dare to face unknown difficulties compared to my boyfriend, especially the language barrier. We accidentally took the wrong train and came to a neighborhood where you couldn't see any tourists. And I wanted a gelato there so we were waiting in line. There were only Italian speaking in that small shop. I managed to buy the ice cream I wanted in the end and was so happy that I even took a selfie with the ice cream.       I may be so good at enduring the embarrassment when I can see that other people try to understand me because I am not speaking the local language or speaking the local language with my own accent, wrong word order, and incorrect pronunciations. In Belgium, I constantly need to figure out what other...
Post a Comment
Read more

More than a friend: book review of loveless

    Abnormal sunny weather returned to Belgium again and I started to enjoy the autumn there. Another word for autumn is fall, which depicts a scene of yellow leaves falling from trees, swirling in the wind, and gently falling to the ground. In my hometown, there are more evergreen trees, but there is one specific tree called  Ginkgo (银杏) which turns all the leaves yellow in autumn. When I was young, my mom worked in a medicine company producing traditional Chinese medicine. She told me that there was one product that used Ginkgo leaves to treat heart-related diseases and laughed at me when I thought they used golden Ginkgo leaves for medicine. When leaves are turning yellow, they are reaching nearly the end of life journey. However, they do provide pleasure for kids and adults like me rustling on fallen leaves. Ginkgo is a tree native to China. No wonder I don't find them in Belgium.      I sat on the bench, bathing under the sunshine, and read the book l...
Post a Comment
Read more

It's a long long journey

     As the plan of studying for a history master's degree failed, I went back to looking for a job. However, this road is not easy as well. Who knows if this is a detour or a shortcut before you ever try it?      Meanwhile, I decided to continue my research as a sociologist and amateur historian. I will try to discover free sources to support my research as soon I could not access to the university's library system. Also, I created this blog in case I want to become a writer.       So, welcome to my first practice of writing!     Last night, I read a book called a little history of the world by E.H. Gombrich . It is a birthday gift from my best friend to celebrate my new passion for history. Yes, at that time, I was busy writing my thesis proposal on my birthday for the application to the master of the history program at KU Leuven.  a little history of the world  by   E.H. Gombrich      A fun fac...
Post a Comment
Read more