Girl's Talk

 

my brilliant friend

    Last night I had a sleepover at my female friend's studio and I felt so excited as a child looking forward to school outings. If I tried to recall my sleepover experience with my girl friends, there are always long and deep conversations in the darkness before we feel too tired to stay up late anymore. 

    I enjoy these girl's talk moments a lot as you two could build a genuine and deep connection overnight.  I had that with my best friend in Berkeley and after that night she would head to Los Angeles to travel and go back to China. At that time, I didn't know that we would keep in contact when the exchange semester was over. But luckily, we are still best friends now and I keep sharing my dating experience and relationships, my happiness and sorrow with her. I also had a sleepover with one of my friends in high school. We were not close at that time but at that time our dormmates were all back home and we didn't want to sleep alone. We were sleeping in the bunk bed and she slept in the upper bed. I was talking to her in the darkness without seeing her face but looking at the bed frame. We talked a lot about life and we both felt close to each other afterwards. Even though we may not talk to each other for more than one year, she always has a place in my heart as we shared our vulnerabilities with each other before. 

    I guess it is one of the few advantages of being a girl as you could easily show your venerable self to other girls and build a deep connection based on emotional conversations. For boys, it is difficult for them to cry in front of others and maybe they would only show their vulnerability to their romantic partners. (For me, crying is not something that I could control. I could cry in the most embarrassing setting such as a KFC. It is like rain for me, I have to accept the truth that it could come of a sudden.)    

    What's more, society accepts more affectionate behaviors between girls instead of boys. A close male friendship can be judged as a gay couple while girls are free to hug and hold hands with each other on the street without being judged as lesbians. I recently watched a movie called close and it explores the closeness between teenage boys and how tragedy happens when they try to fit into the mode of how society thinks male friends should behave. 

labeling a relationship can have disastrous consequences

    Therefore, I secretly like to see guys crying in front of me and interpret it as a sign of trust. Let's stop toxic masculinity by encouraging guys to show affection to their best male friends and cry in front of you and them lol! I always tell my female friends when I have a feeling for someone and I cherish their comments. They trust my descriptions (interpretation) of the person I fall in love with and feel happy for me. The sharing moments of telling my dating stories are so much fun that sometimes I like to go through our messages over and over again. 

    There is a saying I could not remember clearly. It goes that friendship among boys is built in shared hobbies and group activities while friendship among girls is built in shared emotions and secrets. For me, I would like both to happen in any of my close relationships: me with my parents, me with my boyfriend, and with my best friends. I try my best to tell my true feelings and spend quality time taking adventures and journeys with them. Anyway, we want someone to be there for you means to have laughter and tears together right? 

    Come here, and I will give you a (virtual) hug!